The Crooming of Alabama, or, Is Mark Richt the new Evil Genius?

Alright, so what the hell?

First of all, what the hell is with Alabama? You bring in a coach. You pay him 4 million dollars a year. You watch as he gets Croomed.

Alabama fans must feel like this is something they could have had for far less than about $100,000 per game/hour. Hell, I'll bet Orgeron would have done it for less than half that! Just kidding, 'Bama fans, I know this loss sucks for you. Look at it this way -- it sucks far less than the suckage you could experience two weeks from now in the Iron Bowl.

Speaking of the Iron Bowl, what the hell is this CBS decision to air the Tennessee-Kentucky game instead? I'm a Kentucky fan, and I can't even believe that one. For my money, Auburn-Alabama is rivaled only by Army-Navy, and the football is always better in the former than the latter. There is so much bad blood and loathing between Auburn and Alabama, it simply dwarfs almost every other rivalry I can think of. Not that I don't want to see UT-UK on national TV, hell, we'll take all the help we can get with recruiting. But that decision is a head-scratcher to me.

I promised to update everyone on the South Carolina blogger's reax to the monkey-slapping they received at the hands of Mighty T and his Reptilian Rowdies, so here goes:

Garnet and Black Attack has a list of five reasons why Florida dominated this game. The big ones, to my mind, are number one and two. Tim Terrific and South Carolina (non) defense that sucks like a Dyson.

Chuck at The Cool Chicken searches for ... something.

This past weekend, Urban Meyer won a decisive victory over a South Carolina team that has been a skid. It was obvious early on that South Carolina did not have the defensive answer for Urban’s trickery this year. Then near the end of the game, unsatisfied with just winning, Urban Meyer may have done something to help the South Carolina team.

With a minute and a half remaining, a 13 point lead and the ability to run out the clock, Urban sent his star heisman caliber quarter back out on to the field and took a shot at the end zone. The pass connected and the Florida Gators notched their score up to 51 points.

There is not doubt in my mind and I am sure there is no doubt in Spurrier’s that Meyer was not taking a shot at South Carolina. That last touchdown was meant for Spurrier.

I can't say he's wrong, and Ryan Ferguson did note that Meyer had the starters in there late in the game, particularly Tebow. Perhaps Meyer was trying to shove it up Spurrier's nether regions and break it off. Or perhaps, to demonstrate to Florida fans that the legend that is the Visor was as much due to the program as it was the coach.

Either way, Spurrier cannot be even a little amused at suffering this kind of abuse at the hands of Florida. I can hear him breathing through his mask all the way from Columbia to Louisville. I'll bet he has used the dark side of the force on a few of his players by now. Fat lot of good it has done him lately, though. Maybe he can recruit Jabba the Hut to play defensive line line.

Georgia put a spank on the boys from the Plains this weekend down Athens way, and the Tigers are not happy. Track 'em Tigers says the Tigers were unprepared:

Emotionless. Unprepared. There are many words to describe Auburn’s thumping by Georgia on Saturday. In the end, it was just plain embarrassing.

The Tiger’s 45-20 loss at Sanford Stadium will go down as one of the poorest efforts in Auburn football history. Not since losing by 24 points to Alabama at home in 2001 has a Tommy Tuberville coached team looked so woefully unprepared to play a big game.

Hmm. That A & M job is probably looking a lot better to Tubby right about now. Jerry Hinnen is scratching his head, claws extended:

What ... the hell?

I don't even know how I'm supposed to react to a loss like that. Auburn claws back from 17-3 down, we're up 20-17 and have the Dawgs in second-and-long deep in their own territory, and in what seems like the blink of an eye it's yet another outright embarrassment to add to Tubby's annually-increasing stockpile of them.

It all happened so fast, even after sleeping on it, I'm left to wonder what the appropriate response is.

Heh. Georgia fans are understandably feeling their oats. Kyle King of Dawg Sports says that Good triumphed over Evil:

It isn't just that the team is playing well; it's that Georgia football has become fun. I don't know that I've ever been in Sanford Stadium for a game that was as enjoyable as yesterday's. The fans were in the stands early, dressed for the occasion, and offering their full-throated support from beginning to end. The players fed off of the crowd, played their hearts out, and had a fine time doing it.

So they are feeling the love down in Athens, and nothin' says lovin' like a big football victory over a bitter rival. Quoth Paul Westerdawg:

After the Florida game, Orson Swindle told me that Georgia brought Evil Richt to the Cocktail Party. Well, it looks like Kathryn sent Evil Richt to his second game of the season. (Image: DawgPost.com)

Evil Richt knows how to party. Evil Richt would drink you under a table. Evil Richt shot a man in Reno just to watch him die. Evil Richt stares down officials and eats them for breakfast. Evil Richt fell into a burning ring of fire and laughed about it. Evil Richt once spent a night in the Starkville City jail for picking flowers. Evil Richt wears black.

And then, from Hey Jenny Slater, we have a skit that is just way to long to excerpt meaningfully starring Evil Richt. Read the whole thing.

But wait a minute ... I thought Evil was ... and Georgia was, er ... Oh, I'm so confused. Well, Georgia won, good or evil. For Tuberville, it's back to the drawing board. If Auburn loses the Iron Bowl, Tubby might start looking West ... a lot.